ruminations

The latest "small talk" topic in the world

2009-03-28T10:36:00.000-07:00

As the title suggests, most of us have moved on from talking about the weather, movies and the pathetic state of Mumbai transportation. I would not like to make the political blunder of including cricket in this list, though hush-hush speaking, an overhyped small talk topic is what I really think it is!

So, for the last 8 months, every single day of my life someone or the other has come up to me and asked, "So, how is the recession treating your start-up?" Obviously, I have 2 fundamental problems with this question:

a) It is not a recession, it is just de-growth (for the lack of a better word!). I know a lot of people make this statement to demonstrate their "intelligent conversationalist quotient" and I will risk being classified as one of "those" people, because this IS a fact according to any authentic definition of the word 'recession'.

b) I am not running a start-up; I run a small business! Today marked the 2nd IIMA convocation since I graduated. It was exactly 2 convocations back that I was proud of Quetzal being referred to as a start-up, but not today!

Of course, we still do have some of those traits - For instance, we do not have a clear idea about which one of our business streams we should clearly focus on. We still have budding entrepreneurs joining us to "experience" how a "start-up" operates! We still, at times, convene our "Board of Directors" meetings in coffee shops! We still operate out of 3 "galas", where the CEO and Interns share the same desk and keep betting with each other on everything under the sun - from Federer winning the French Open to who is going to lose more weight faster!

However, those are start-up traits that we want to hold on to and do not match the overriding criteria that indicate our graduation from the "start-up" mode. For instance, we have had more than 70 Quetzals who have worked with us in the last 2 years - most of them being people with spectacular pedigree. There are hardly any large educational institutions or companies in the sectors we work in, that don't do business with us. There is hardly any project that goes through without the intervention of Quetzal's stringent quality processes! Truth be told, I am not projecting this in the hope that it would help me win over clients or employees or investors - I am more in touch with reality than to assume that! Of course, my opinions could be coloured because of my emotional involvement with my company, but come on - on MY blog, I couldn't care less about being objective!

Anyways, after having battled with peripheral issues like the inaccuracy in the framing of the question, let me try to address the real concern/curiosity (obviously the latter in 99.99% of the cases- exceptions being parents and lovers - who, for some strange reason, will continue to operate on a totally tangential plain of small talk, dominated by questions such as, 'what did you have for breakfast?' and 'what are you wearing?') My take on this is twofold:

1. I have been dealing with survival issues for 2 years. A "slowdown", my friend, is just one more of those "issues" to deal with and not something that will "shake me up"! Not to contest that there has been a tangible dip in our sales and revenue collections, but how much does it additionally matter when I have been riding a sinusoidal wave (I like to believe that the mean of these sinusoids is upward bound!) for the last 2years!

2. From being enamoured with "overnight success stories" like that of Facebook and YouTube in my early start-up days, I have, finally, reconciled with the more popular notion shared by the been there-done thats: It takes years and years of arduous effort and commitment to create something world-class from scratch! Sanjeev Bikhchandani took 13 years, Richard Branson took 20 years and I will not fool myself into believing that I am the "lucky" or "smart" one to beat that kind of a time curve! So, I am in this for the long run. And, it is but natural that in this ultra-marathon, there will be downturns (some of them being as drastic as this one!) and booms all the time. Earlier they are in my entrepreneurial career, better it is for me, because I end up learning when there is relatively less at stake, than later on when it will come at a higher price!

So, by some vague chance, if you are one of those people who have asked me this question in the last 8 months, no matter what my politically correct, fitting-in-with-the-global-paranoia response to you has been, I have muttered under my breath each time the immortal line from Gone With The Wind, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!"

Are you lonesome tonight?

2008-09-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days that I did something I had often visualized myself doing, but had been avoiding for years. I finally watched a movie at a multiplex ALONE! It is not a big deal and most people would roll their eyes at the glorification of this. For me, it was a huge kick! I had associated a sort of phobia with it, so even though I had trekked alone, shopped alone, eaten out alone, lived alone, danced alone, attended concerts alone, even walked around new cities alone- this was my first lonesome movie!
I analysed and broke the fear down into 2 components:
I don’t look at watching a movie as an activity; it’s quite a passive way to spend time! So, in my analyse-every-moment value system, I have low respect for it. Of course, there are some movies that make you think so much that you take a part of them away with you when you walk out of the theatre, such as Kung Fu Panda, but such movies are so rare that if you have movie-loving friends, you would end up watching such movies with them! Whenever I decide to go for a movie, I game myself into believing that “going for the movie” is a social event, i.e. a mere excuse to spend time with friends, where you don’t necessarily have to make conversation!
The bigger component was, of course, living to see the day when I did not have a friend to watch a movie with me! And, well today was the day- I wanted to watch Wall-E and I did not have any friends to join me! On mentioning to Barood, he quickly pointed out that it is lack of self-confidence! Ouch! That pinched hard. Barood has an uncanny ability to matter-of-factly make observations about people that they hate to admit. Sometimes, he is kind enough to sweeten his words, and this was clearly not one of those rare occasions!
Lack of self-confidence is not something I would, per se, find difficult to admit! I have, at times, battled with grave self-doubts about my capability to excel. Every time I have thrown myself into a professional challenge, it has been a bumpy ride for my self-esteem! But, this was not about Vineeta, the entrepreneur or the manager or the engineer! It was totally about my personal life- and I don’t remember the last time I had major self-doubts in that regard- probably in 10th grade when I was not propositioned on Valentine’s Day (an important metrics of self-worth for me then)!
So, after I had a nice time watching this movie all by myself, I was damn relieved! Not because this was a liberating experience on its own, but because it drove me right into my fear, and left me no option but to address it! It got me thinking about all those relationships I am still holding on to not for their own sake, but because they represent some kind of security that I will never have to be lonely! It got me thinking about the strong need I have to be liked by people and how it has often dented my decision making process. It got me thinking about my constant drive to grow as a person, because I fear being unpopular if I’m not smart or interesting enough. It got me thinking about the constant reassurance that I need from myself and others that I am not a socially unwanted person!
I chose to live alone in this city because I never wanted to voice such fears even to myself. But, like most other fears, admitting to myself that they exist has made it easier for me to tackle them! At least that's what I believe! I will only know when I am able to catch myself swinging towards a decision not because it’s right, but because it’ll make me more popular. I will only know when I don't succumb to the mistake of measuring my self-worth by the number of people who care about me, and most importantly. And, most importantly, I will know when I am able to guiltlessly walk out of those relationships that do not make me happy!

Mumbai meri Jaan?!

2008-08-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

I have spent the first 17 years of my life in Delhi, except 3-4 initial years when I was shuttling between Delhi and Gujarat.
And it's been just over a year at Mumbai- so please feel free to disbelieve the title of the blog! Truth be told, the title of the bolg is just attention seeking behaviour at display- trying to cover up for my 10 months of non-blogging! I'm quite far, in fact, from giving my life for the city or any such noble deed! However, at the risk of taking the politically incorrect stand in the standard Delhi-Mumbai controversy, I will concede that Mumbai has been a lot more fun for me! Lest I get chopped into bits and pieces by my co-TDCs (those who cannot de-abbreviate this have clearly not engaged in too many third-party conversations about Delhiites), I'll give the disclaimer that a) first 17 years are really not the perfect period to make the most of a city and b) conservative middle class homes come with certain curfews, even if they send their kids to study at DPS! So, the fact that I couldn't experience the true colours of fun-Delhi may be all my fault!

Having suitably de-risked myself, I can now come to the main point this blog is making. Apart from the fact that Mumbai is THE place to run a B2B business in, and that the weather does not go to extremes, I am quite passionate about the city for the whole range of small pleasures that you can enjoy here- quite inexpensively! (Please note that inexpensive is an important criterion, because I do still categorize myself as gareeb entrepreneur!)

So, here's my list of Top 15 Small Pleasures in Mumbai ("in no particular order"- you can't imagine how long I've waited to use this phrase, because I always wonder why the writer couldn't spend an additional minute in sequencing the points in some particular order!)

1. Biking down the Palm Beach Road especially when it's absolutely empty at nights!
(Ravi, don't kill me for giving out your secret hideaway- I'm sure not more than 10 people read my blog, most of whom I'd have anyways raved about the road to!)

2. Sailing off the Bombay Harbour on a hot summer's day with a couple of breezers and some cookies!
(Cyrus, my sailing instructor would love me for this, because most non-DNA reading Mumbaiites have no idea about the extremely active Sailing circuit in Mumbai- and believe me sailing's less elitist than golf in Mumbai, because you do not need to "own" a yacht to sail)

3. Sipping coffee (and having the complementary cookies!) at one of the couches next to the French Window at Sea Lounge (Taj Palace's coffee shop overlooking the sea) at twilight!
(The best part about twilight is that you watch the transition from frontview to backdrop!
6:50 PM- Thousands of colourful boats with a smoggy horizon as the backdrop
7:10 PM- Thousands of lights (from ships far away in the horizon) capture the focus and the small boats disappear into the empty space that exists between me and the lights in the horizon)

4. Watching a play at Prithvi, and the paranoia that precedes it knowing that a second late and you will be locked out!
(The 15 minutes time lag of their clocks does not help, because it takes simple math to game it! Of course, the experience is not complete if you do not run into Kay Kay Menon/bearded man who sits on top of the wagon in the movie Swades/the flutist with the skull cap and grey beard engrossed in his art at the Prithvi Cafe)

5. The Point of View on the 30th floor of ITC Grand Central at late nights!
(Ravi insists on spoiling my kick by proving that it's not actually 30th floor, but that stratospheric view really lives up to the 30th floor expectations! No wonder, it's an only-for-guests-staying-in-special-suites lounge! I suppose if people start treating it like the Eiffel Tower, the authorities might get strict about that rule, so if you're going there, at least look like you stay in one of those suites- and if you have figured out how to stage that look, let me know as well, because I always have to negotiate my way up there!)

6. Singing at the Tuesday Karaoke at Aura in Powai!
(I'm not bothered about too many people reading about this because a) most Mumbaiites treat Powai as a neighbouring hill-station and wouldn't trek all the way here on a weekday and b) more first-timers in the room increase my chances of being above-average in the singing scores- which, for some strange reason, have very little to do with actual singing skills. They're not even inversely proportional, because then I should have scored high at Aura- it's a complex vertically parabolic function with me at the bottom!)

7. Having garlic cheese croissant at Birdy's in Prabhadevi before a meeting at ICICI Prudential
(Those who know me would know the psychological block I have against food products, whose nomenclature includes the terms cheese or butter! For instance, I would have been able to stand the Frankie guy at Ghatkopar if he served the same 4 types of Frankie, but didn't name them 1) Cheese Frankie 2) Cheese Butter Frankie 3) Jain Cheese Frankie 4) Jain Cheese Butter Frankie. What is an adequately health-freaky person supposed to order there?! But, the croissant at Birdy's is so soft and delicious that a carnivore like Barood also likes it (though, he prefers the Garlic Cheese Chicken Croissant for obvious reasons!))

8. Playing badminton on weekends at the Catholic Gymkhana, Charni Road
(I have taken the risk of writing this here, assuming that PG is the last guy who reads blogs. I have been explicitly instructed by him to keep this "our little secret"! Of course, the other reason is the altruistic streak in me that wants every badminton lover to play in a court, that is wooden, but comes really close to a synthetic court, and is incredibly affordable in this era of hilariously high membership fees!)

9. Having the gigantic Bloody Mary at Hard Rock Cafe on a Tuesday or Thursday, with a live band playing covers!
(I have great respect for Indian bands that make original music, but I'm not yet altruistic enough to allow this respect to come in the way of a brilliant evening where I can involve more in the music than just be able to critique it! And if you're going with someone who's going to Hard Rock for the first time, the men-in-black do play some interesting pranks! And I'm not talking about YMCA here )

10. Early morning jog at the Worli Sea Face or in the woods of IIT Bombay campus, especially when it is raining!
(Truth be told, I have done the Worli Sea Face jog only twice (once while running the Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon and the other time when my mum had managed a wonderful guest house on the sea face at 40 bucks a day!). Of course, running in the rain implies no IPod, so this is the kind of small pleasure that ceases to be pleasurable if stretched beyond a certain time!)

11. Reading for hours on the couches by the French Window at Crosswords, Kemps Corner!
(Though my favourite bookstore in Mumbai is Landmark at Andheri, I'm currently protesting against them disallowing people who sit on the floor near the racks and read! But, even if they were to allow that again, it wouldn't beat the deadly combination of having access to a great view, a comfortable couch and so many amazing books! Also, it is not a good idea to read there during Lunch or Dinner hours, because the Moshe's that has recently been opened on the 1st floor of Crosswords is quite noise during its peak times!)

12. Losing most arcade games at Haikone, Powai and then regaining some lost pride by beating most people at Basketball!
(There are other places in Mumbai such as Phoenix Mills where you can bowl and play all kind of arcade games, but Haikone also has a go karting track. Honestly, I am so bad at karting that there have been times when Kaushik has overtaken me with an entire lap's lead, but, considering that the go karting industry seems to be in its terminal stage, I love to do this, hoping that I may go down in history as the last Indian woman on a go karting track!)

13. Having God level filter coffee at Maddu Mess at 4AM!
(The kick is in not just the coffee, but also in sensing how alive a khopcha in Mumbai can be at that unearthly an hour. Maddu Mess runs only from 4-7AM in the morning and is a God-send for BPO employees in Hiranandani and IITians. But, if you are not accompanied by a member of these 2 categories, or if you do not have medical insurance, do not even attempt trying to locate this dingy, severely unhygienic khopcha!

14. Working on my laptop or reading a book on Marine Drive, constantly soaking in the beauty of the waves from the corner of my eyes!
(Part of the kick is also in taking bio-breaks in the candle-lit restroom of Inter-Continental and occasionally picking up a fight with bystanders who randomly dump trash into the sea!)

15. Coffee by the pool-side at Rennaissance, Powai or at La Cafe, Chembur!
(Two disclaimers I forgot to add in the beginning- my entire worldview is biased towards a) coffee, because I'm an extreme coffee-fanatic and b) Powai, because I stay here and in spite of my love for Mumbai, I am yet to feel happy about too much of local-train-travel! But, coffee at Rennaissance figures not just because it's a fusion of both of these, but also because it has the most amazing view of the Powai lake, has lovely palm trees on its pool side and has the 2nd best driveway to a hotel in Mumbai . La Cafe in Chembur is quite secluded from the Mumbai crowds and is another of those hidden treasures. However, it did not merit a 16th point, because I think there quality of service has deteriorated in the last few months!)

Homecoming!

2007-11-29T07:19:00.001-08:00

I visit my parents quite often! Luckily official visits to Delhi just pop up out of the blue, without me having to do even the Om Shanti Om level "sachche dil se maangna". And not one has been a force-fit I swear! (Ignoring the "yeah rights" for the time being!)
So, although I still long for those trips - mum's coffee, Delhi's roads, endless arguments with dad (the only thing we agree on is free market economics and our choice of newspapers!), for me the real homecoming was my trip to Sharavati Hostel, IIT Madras in September 2007!

The alumni secretary had invited 3 alumni (including me) of the erstwhile girls' hostel, Sarayu to talk to Sharav's young ladies about "anything under the sun"! The following is an excerpt from what I spoke:

4 years at IITM formed one hell of a defining experience for me. It is only in hindsight that I am able to understand how and I am sure that is something that most of my batchmates will be able to relate to. I will share couple of stories with you that had a defining impact on my life.

1. The first story is about going out there and seeking "opportunities", rather than waiting for them to land into your lap. If I look back, every opportunity has not been a gold mine, but 1 in 100 have surely been. But, the way life goes, unless you have grabbed and done justice to the 99, you will never be able to lay your hands on that 1 golden opportunity. Sitting on board my first flight to Chennai when I was going to join IITM, I heard a voice at the back saying, "I teach at IIT Madras". Enthusiastic as I always was, I switched my seat with the person on the seat adjacent to the source and introduced myself as an Electrical Engineering student at IITM, only to be handed over a visiting card that read "Ashok Jhunjhunwala: Head of Department, Electrical Engineering"! Anyone who is remotely associated with Electrical Engineering or with IITM knows this Padmashree award-winner who had the reputation of giving nightmares to any student who dares to enter the hallowed portals of the ESB! But that meeting left quite an impact on me, as I would later realise. During that endlessly long flight (technically, I thnk it was supposed to be just 2 hours!), I was quizzed on a range of topics from "why digital media is better than analog" to "why there are such few women in IITs" and as I invented one fictitious logic after another, he decided to drop the quizzing and do a favour to humanity by offering to be my Local Guardian. Now, this part was life-changing primarily because it implied that I would have to dodge the "What’s your CGPA?” question over Sunday lunches for the 4 years of my stay at IIT Madras. However, what left a greater impact on me was a question that he asked me about what my ambition is life was. More out of the lack of creativity than an extreme need for brutal honesty, I said that I wanted to be rich. He masked his condescending smirk with a "bachchi hai" smile and told me that the next time someone asks me this question, I must, at least, say that I want to be an "Entrepreneur"! Now this was a word that I recognized, but it hadn't even remotely been mentioned in the same context as MY ambition! So, obviously, I was quite intrigued by his statement. Driven by my respect for him, I began to study the concept of entrepreneurship and observe the men and women in whose context the word had a lot more appropriately been used in the past!
Well, of course, it took several years from that day for that fascination to get concretized into a dream and then into a calling in my life. But, well, now here I am, finding it impossible to imagine ever not being an entrepreneur!

In hindsight, this is such a simple algorithm - the faster I grab every set of 100 opportunities, the earlier I reach every subsequent gold mine! To this day, I regret not being able to understand and consciously apply it during my stay at IITM - by participating in every event I came across rather than worrying about making a fool of myself, by working on projects with every Professor I had respect for rather than worrying about being labeled "RG" and by getting to know every IITian I could learn something from rather than worrying about being teased for "putting fight for n junta"!

2. The second story is about getting out of the comfort zone. To start with, IIT Madras was far beyond my comfort zone. In DPS, R.K. Puram, where I studied, the notion about Madras was everything below the Vindhyas and the fact that people from Kerala, Karnataka, AP and TN are not all Madrasis, but have their own unique language, food and culture was an unheard-of concept! In the narrow world-view of mine, my JEE rank of 378 was spectacular and I was a multi-faceted person with diverse skill-sets. So, obviously, I joined with a larger-than-life ego of the person who had “arrived”. It took me just 3 months to recognize that I was going to spend the next 4 years with a set of people, who started out thinking of me as a bloody Naarth-Indian with too much attitude! To top that, I also had to come to terms with the fact that they were accurate in judging me, since most of them were culturally fitter, smarter than me as far as test scores went, better sportspersons, superior to me in theatre and choreography, better read and a lot more focused on what they wanted out of their education. I found myself so far away from my comfort zone that it was painful, like life’s biggest lessons are. Months of struggle, that followed the realization, did yield, like most struggles do. For the first time after many, many years, we won an Inter-IIT Women’s Gold and subsequently, the Women’s General Championship. Several other small and large victories later I had graduated with a substantially larger comfort zone. Most other struggles since then (striving to excel at IIMA, running my own company, dealing with the slowdown), have similarly, seemed like opportunities in disguise – to ever keep growing my comfort zone! So, wish you all the best for expanding your own comfort zones, and if you ever wonder, what's the point of a particular Delta X in the zone, don't stop -just KEEP EXPANDING, because you have a long life ahead to figure that part out!

The all-encompassing one-line vision!

2007-09-25T10:44:00.001-07:00

It's kinda funny when all your life you run around after that elusive purpose that can give you a sense of direction, and then one fine day you just bump into it out of the blue! I have always found it difficult to just float through life, and everyday I just need to know exactly what I am doing with my life and how I am growing as a person. If that does not happen, then I just end up going to bed feeling incomplete about myself! Of course, many times I also play semantics games with myself to justify some things I just want to do, but that don't really fit into the bigger picture! But, I more often than not forgive myself for these inconsistencies! What's the use of getting a 6.9 on 7 in self-knowledge in CPI if one is not able to game one's own behaviour, right?! But, that's really not the point of this post.

This morning Barood suddenly came up with a vision for Quetzal. I don't know if it is appropriate to write it here, but I am so kicked about it that I am getting goosebumps since morning! When he told us, though Bubs and Bhush had their reservations, but I instantly adopted it as the purpose of my own life. I just knew that, in a nutshell, that vision statement summed up that higher sense of purpose that I had been desperatey looking for all these years. At the risk of sounding too dramatic, I want to say that it was the search for that sense of purpose that drove me to read a few works in philosophy, it is that sense of purpose that made a Victor Frankl survive the concentration camp at Auschwitz (ref: A Man's Search for Meaning), it is that sense of purpose that will be the biggest stone (ref: the story about filling a jar with the big stones first) in my life, it is that sense of purpose that will forever give me perspective about right and wrong, it is that sense of purpose that gives me infinite joy in just striving for it, and it is that sense of purpose that is so much higher than me that it is worth giving my life for! Whether I achieve it or die trying, I will forever have the joy of believing that my life had a purpose!

Consumer activism

2007-07-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

The four of us are a bunch of extreme consumer activists (my 3 partners led the movement and I reluctantly joined, but am a total convert now!) and we rarely go through any service without positively or negatively reinforcing the quality of it! We've had long crusades against service providers like Hutch (in one case, Bhushan made a Hutch shop stay open for 2 hours after its closing time!), Reliance, CCD, and some infinite restaurants! But, we've also given some amazingly positive feedback to the staff at Blue Dart, Curries and Subway in Ahmedabad, sometimes even call centre employees who actually get things done! So, we are constantly evaluating the products we buy and the services we get, and have almost made a religion out of not settling for "unfair" treatment, but also going out of the way to appreciate service excellence! But, the point that I often end up thinking about is what the front end staff of these companies, that do an overkill of slogans like "Customer is King", is incentivised for! Several times, the problem just boils down to wrong incentive structure! I wonder whether the incentive is to satisfy the customer's need or just give her an illusion of it, and whether feedback is collected out of a desire to improve or just to demonstrate that desire!

But, I guess the balance is slowly tilting in favour of the consumers with each passing day, and hopefully the information age will bridge the final demand-supply gap that allows companies to make profit in spite of doing a shoddy job of what they themselves state as their dharma! The man, who uploaded a video of his apartment on youtube and actually got Unitech to suddenly respond to complaints that had first been made ages ago, has really shown us the way to creative consumer activism without having to literally raise our voices! So, one thing that companies are surely beginning to realise is that they cannot get away with the "hit and run" strategy of ignoring a few dissatisfied consumers here and there and hope for information asymmetry in the market!

Of course, as long as I am the evaluator, it's damn powerful and exciting!

But, the real question for me now is what I will do in my business to enhance the customer experience that I have, so far, considered sacrosanct for any business! Will I forsake short term rewards to gain that edge in maximizing consumer experience because that is what creates long term value? Will I go out of my way to invest in front end staff who I can grant enough power to actually solve consumer problems and not just be punching bags for them? Will I be able to create systems and processes so robust that the customer is actually the King, no matter who serves him? Will I be able to create a company that actually believes in the power of consumer activism and bows down to it without being unceremoniously forced to?
Well, to my mind, the only answer is that if I want to survive in the long run, I bloody well will!

Life means more!

2007-07-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

The last few months of entrepreneurship have been so completely mind-blowing in terms of my learning curve that I have had several occasions when I have let the "learning" just zip past, unable to do justice to it because of lack of bandwidth! At one level, it is damn exciting to be so busy and so involved in something that I'm really passionate about, but at another level, it hurts to let those exciting ideas and important lessons that deserved to be dwelled upon just go by! And to think that it is all because of a bandwidth crunch, when all my life I have prided myself in my "life means more" philosophy! Of course, this is one of the reasons why I had chosen to be an entrepreneur! I wanted to be thrown out of my comfort zone where I believed that I could smoothly manage a lifestyle in which I would do full justice to my work, apart from reading, gymming, picking up a new hobby, and spending time with myself and with the people I love! I enjoy being in the "constant optimization of time" mode, but only when it yields something substantial, only when I can drop dead asleep every night knowing that I have done so many wonderful things during the day, only when I can wake up every morning with the thrill of the unpredicatbility of the challenges that I know the day will throw in front of me, only when I know deep inside that I am living my life to the fullest, and not just appearing to be busy or stuck in an activity trap!
So, as I am discovering for myself, entrepreneurship is not just about risk-taking, it's not just about freedom and wealth, it's not just about dreaming! Entrepreneurship is also about getting more out of life; it is also about being constantly alert to external stimuli; it is also about bursting with well-thought-out ideas, it is also about rigorous planning and still having to think on one's feet, it is also about knowing that you have reached the peak of your personal bandwidth and then very nonchalantly creating some more! So, as this happy realization dawns upon me, I figure that as far as I'm concerned entrepreneurship is all about growth!

Imagination vs. faith

2007-07-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

Illusions by Richard Bach is an extremely hard-hitting book, in spite of the fact that I was getting progressively readied for the hit with every interaction with Barood. It's pretty dramatic to start considering oneself a Messiah and every action as a choice. Well, truth be told, denying these two facts about existence has been a very convenient excuse for taking the easy path in life, that of not having to take responsibility for every single action and every single decision of mine!
The Vampire episode, I felt, was specifically meant for someone like me who chooses to justify her actions on the basis of their impact on others, and who always believes that one has the freedom to do as one likes, provided it does not hurt anyone else! But, the truth is that I cannot hurt anyone till the point that the person chooses to get hurt by me. This is such a liberating thought, and excites me completely about my power to choose all that I have brought into my life. It is especially liberating because I have, so often, found myself swamped in guilt, guilt for how I have treated others, guilt for the pain I feel I have caused to others, guilt for not being “sympathetic” enough. And it is this guilt that drains me and the free spirit that rests inside me! But the moment I use the vampire framework, I feel so proud about my choices, where finally I did exactly what I wanted to, but carried the burden of guilt for being selfish! I quote Bach, “Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness. Listen to it carefully.” It's a philosophy that the others will never understand or appreciate, because it goes against the concept of “niceness” that we are all indoctrinated with till we begin to internally accept. So, even though I found the Ayn Rand-ish objectivism really cool and exciting, I couldn't a) see myself enforcing that in “real life” and b) it was a much milder version of the kind of freedom that Bach is referring to! Oh I really love this way of existence and am tempted to adopt and internalise it right away, but before I do that I have to reconcile it with Karma, the philosophy that I have so far found fool-proof no matter how many tests it has been put to! Simply put, I believe in Karma because there has always been disproportionate returns for actions in my life (even though the sum total, I'd like to believe, has balanced itself!), and it thus becomes essential to de-link each action and its consequence so as to retain the vigour and energy in life for all actions irrespective of the expected consequences. The energy and vitality that Karma gives you is one level less than that given by the “freedom” philosophy where you take responsibility for the action and the consequence and you remove the noise in the black-box called Karma. It was the noise in that black-box that I attributed the mixing up and disproportionating of consequences to and it is this noise that the “freedom” philosophy rejects, which is why Karma was about faith, whereas “freedom” philosophy is about imagination. So, the choice really is in my hands, as usual, and that is the choice between freedom and karma, which effectively boils down to the choice between imagination and faith!

10 tips to change your life(very original!)

2005-06-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

I sent this to our hostel's yahoogroup after Dhanya sent a mail about being at Arvind's place in Bombay right now and putting hazaar fight to get along with her in-laws. Of course, I continue to maintain that any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental!

TIPS FOR PATAOFYING TARGET IN-LAWS(inspired by a fellow bady player's woes; also for the cause of general welfare and a more harmonious society)

1. Convert religion, caste etc. asap to fit the required specifications.

2. Learn the mothertongue of the would-be. If not that, atleast, be fluent with the mother's tongue, i.e. target mom-in-law's native language. Dads tend to be more rational and less prone to being impressed by such stunts!

3. Meet a kundali consultant to ensure that rahu-ketu and other calamitous entities are not obstrusting your "happy ever after" dream. If they are, bribe him and make the required alterations. Or just buy a compatible kundali instead!

4. When visitng his house, go to the kitchen to help, and ask profound questions like "is the chhonk enough?" or "have you put tadka to daal?" If you're a smooth liar, you could also make statements like "Till a while back I used to believe that my mom is the greatest cook in the world, but you've really opened my eyes to the reality that it was far from the truth!" And for heaven's sake, sound credible!

5. While helping, even if you can cook, don't go overboard and screw things up or end up seeming like one with a know-all attitude! At the end of the day mom-in-law is God! So, just indulge in supplementary activities like peeling potatoes or pomegranate(like I did!)

6. Claim to have 12 years of training in classical music. You could choose between carnatic and hindustani depending on which your target in-laws have relatively less fundaes on! But, believe me, this is a trump card and will get you a lot of brownie points(I say from a good friend's experience), so throw it in even if your surname is "Sing" and your middlename is "don't" and despite the fact that when you begin to croak, even frogs are embarrassed!

7. Now the all important dress code! Dress strategically like the women in the saas-bahu soaps! "Indian" is in, goes without saying! But, if you can't carry off sarees etc., wear not too drapey salwars, revealing important assets very matter-of-factly! A little bit of oomph is essential in order to impress, so low necklines, cut sleeves, short kurtis, tight churidars and all chalega! Aunties have a very distorted view of fashion trends, and these really catch their attention, especially if they're in bright colours, which our gult friends can elaborate further on!

8. We're concentrating too much on mom-in-laws. Although they are the mightiest in the family, donot ignore dads and siblings! Brush up on the latest in politics and sports, and find out in detail about their occupation. Then have an intellectual discussion with them, nonchalantly flaunting your knowledge, but again, always be fundamentally on his side! Even if you have to contradict your guy, team up with dad-in-law against him. If there's too much of an ideological conflict between what you actually believe and what you're saying(like if he's a great fan of Narendra Modi!), either bite hard or put your views across as subtle questions posed to dad-in-law and NEVER as loud,rebellious statements!

9. No sarcasm (they're probably too old to catch it!). No jokes on them or their home interiors, or their pets, or their trees, or anything else they're touchy about! Jokes on their son are allowed! Jokes on yourself are most welcome!

10. Ok ten is a good number so I'll wind up with this one! Last but not the least, when you're in their premises, don't be caught with your pants down! And I mean it literally. You're projecting an image of the shy one! So, refrain from any form of contact with your guy. You have your whole life to indulge in such immoral activities! Pre-marital display of affection is absolutely unaesthetic from the point of view of your in-laws, no matter how "cool" you or your guy think they are!

Yours truly,
Agony Aunt Vineeta

P.S. Follow the advice at your own risk!P.P.S. All non-Dhanya entities(I'm sure she's not in a very steady frame of mind!), kindly ratify the points. I am contemplating a career as a Delhi Times Page 3 correspondent!

Same old debate!

2005-06-12T12:57:00.000-07:00

This morning, at the breakfast table, dad and I had the same argument for the umpteenth time. We were discussing Hemant mama's temporary state of literal "joblessness" and dad was advocating that it's irresponsible and very silly to leave a job before taking up a new one. I insisted that it's better to be jobless and look around for more exciting job prospects than be subjected to perpetual mental torture in the form of a job you hate doing!

It's the same pragmatism vs. idealism debate that I've often had with him, and a few times with Rahul and many other people. I can't forget the words of Oscar Wilde when he said, "I don't want to earn a living; I want to live." It applies to each one of us. When we spend 10-12 hours at work and sleep for 8 hours, it leaves us with 4-6 hours to reap the fruits of our working hours in a day. From this perspective, is the "torture" worth it?! Thomas Friedmann very emphatically says that the world is becoming flat and he mocks at the French who are trying hard to retain their 35 hours-work-a-week schedule int he face of a situation where an Indian is willing to put in 35 hours a day. If this is the kind of work culture we are moving towards, is it still unjust to strive for a work profile that gives you a fair amount of satisfaction, if not extreme intellectual stimulation, though I don't see why that can't be our real aim! The term 'middle class mentality' is an oft-used cliche' so I'll use the term 'middle class insecurity' instead. What's in a name?! But, isn't the phenomenon behind this solely responsible for the mad rush in just 2 supposedly "secure" fields, thus starving all the other avenues of growth and employment. It just ends up preventing an individual from evolving into the best he can be, as it, in a way, restricts him and curbs his freedom. The biggest stumbling block for such an evolution is fear, the fear of losing a job, the fear of not having enough money, the fear of not being able to make ends meet. Ofcourse, if our lifestyles were as simple and unpretentious as they can be, this fear wouldn't even arise, but let's leave that point aside for another time. Karl Marx (some survey has put Communist Manifesto and Das Capitol as two of the top 10 most harmful books of all times without people even bothering to read them or remotely understand their essence) had a mighty point when he told the Proletariat to revolt because they, anyways, had nothing to lose but their chains. But, we, the middle class have so much to lose. We "have" families to look after, we "have" job security, we "have" savings! Why are we always seeking to possess everything possible, capture it and be able to say that we own it?! It's also a form of insecurity and fear. Only if we could dare to just be who we are on our own, independent of the tags assigned to us and the things and people we own, we could learn to love ourselves and everyone else truly without the interference of this habit of possessing. And then we'd be able to look at our work objectively, as the end itself andnot as a means to an end.There is an amazing similarity between the ideologies of Karl Marx and Ayn Rand. They both considered achievment in work as a means to self realization. Marx was against a system that places the means of production in the hands of few, so that labour devolves into unsatisfying assembly line work. Rand was against the "ethical" system that tells achievers that they should serve those who don't achieve in order to promote social equality. So, they had divergent theories on how to achieve this goal, but there was a fundamental agreement on the concept of self-realization. An extension of this same concept of self-realization by work is the concept of Nishkama Karma advocated by Lord Krishna in the Bhagwad Gita. It stresses on the need for performing actions in order to fulfill one's duty without deliberating too much about the fruits of those actions, which should really be insignificant.

But, then again, I wake up to the harsh reality that the world does not idealize these concepts anymore and all that really matters is gold, sprinkled here and there with the desire for power. Dr. Ananth said that idealism is the only thing worth living for. Some people realize it sooner or later in their lifetime. Some others are content with the constant running-after-success. The remaining majority are choking with discontent, but will never realize it or try to venture out of their comfort zones. That is life, and the debate goes on.

Me?! Blog?!

2005-06-11T12:59:00.000-07:00

I started out being very skeptical about the whole concept of blogging. What's the whole damn point? Is it just a means to make a point? Or is it the point?! Does that make sense or is it actually a whole lot of thoughtless, obscure gibberish as the URL suggests?!
Genuinely speaking, I need an outlet, considering the amount of churning that goes on inside my head at any point of time.
Thank God for the IT revolution, this is a lot less cumbersome than maintaining a journal! So, as Whitesnake puts it best:
Here I go again on my own,
Going down the only road I’ve ever known,
Like a hobo I was born to walk alone.
And I’ve made up my mind,
I ain’t wasting no more time!!